Damn It

I was minding my own business, fat, dumb and happy, walking into Sandy's on Sunday evening. It was one of the nicest we'd had in a while. I walk one step into the bar and Ritchie asks if I want to go play golf. I think he's nuts but he tells me that R. J. never played golf and they were going o the driving range and decided to go play golf at Hiland. I've been out of work for 5 hours and, stupid as I am, yes was the obvious answer. I stop at the house, feed the dogs, let them out, eat a sandwich, let the dogs in, pick up a 12 pack and hit the links. I've lost my mind!

We get to the first tee and, after a bit, R.J. hits the ball. Legit 12.

Second hole, after only 1 try, he hits the ball. Scores a solid 8.

Third hole, par 3, hit the ball, forward, and scored a quality 6, serious.

Fourth hole, we're (Me and Ritchie) are trying to teach someone how to play golf. Special! I think he got a 6 or 7 but I'm pretty sure he either beat me or Rich.

Fifth hole, I THINK this is where Jumbo's driver got broke (think being the operative word). I'm in the bushes (again) and R.J. did good again. Don't know what happened, don't care.

It's the next hole, #6, that is the best.

Ritchie tees first, me second and R.J. next (sounds better than last). Reg hits this 7 iron and the ball goes immediately right...and the club goes immediately left, in the air, like and javelin. I ain't never seen anything like it. I watched the ball to the right and the club to the left and after I saw the ball land this club was sailing through the air, over the fence, almost

across the road...and there's a car coming!!!

If this car is doing 2 mph less, he's got

a) a dead person

b) a killer car wreck

c) a survivor trying to get blood out of a stone.

The car passes safely, oblivious, and the club clears the power lines. As the car goes by you hear this (tink!) and here's this club across the street, and fence. I'm laughing' so hard Ritchie's looking around and he comes over t o the fence and I show him the club lying in the middle of the road. " How we gonna get that back?" Reggie over the fence!

Ritchie's telling me to take a picture of him going over the fence but

I'm already on the phone calling Jumbo.

It's now 24 hrs. later, and I still can't stop laughing. Never pass up an opportunity to play a sport with somebody the first time, ya' just never know. This day we played 10 and 10 on a horse at Belmont call "Cupid's Arrow" He paid 10.20 / 4.70.

I just can't picture R.J. in a diaper shooting arrows